My Being in the Light of a Candle

It was just like in the midst of my query to think upon my existence. The place was so dark for me to find its fecund purpose, its opulent meaning. I found no place. I found nothing but darkness. I was empty. I was nothing. Do I exist? Who causes my existence to be here and there? What is my purpose? Why do I need to be here and now? What for?

I was bombarded with questions that need tremendous acceptance and plausible answers are true manifestations that I should stop, look and listen to the voice within me. It grants in acceding my power to think of my being, my existence. In the far distant of emptiness, of feeling of nothingness but filled with consciousness, there was a light, a light of a candle. It was a new-fangled mode of hope for me to conquer, lived out and to grab into.

With full of expectation and of vehement spirit, I will try to find this meaning, this marvelous mystery of my existence. As I moved inward, I found myself in the dominance of the light. It seemed that reality came to strike my consciousness, my being because of that light. What bothers me most was the existence of either my being or of a candle, maybe both, due to the essence and existence of light. Which is which?

 I am an existing being; my esse manifests my existence towards reality and in avoidance as well as overcoming nothingness and emptiness. This esse is neither a description based on the perception of my existence nor a definition of my being in any other kind of perspective. It gives power of my being to be present here and now. This upholds and continually sustains the act of my real existence in the realm of reality which is real. My act of existence, of being, is not passive, however, it is a dynamic and active presence possessed by this intrinsic power of my being. I dwell here and now, relating myself to other being in existence. My essence puts limitation of my esse. It is essence that determines and recognizes my purpose but more importantly my esse lived out my act of existence as me, as being, present here, to be.

But despite this realization of mine, as a thinking self, I doubt of my existence because of the cause that leads me to think of my entire being. I did not see myself in existence without this object, a candle. That causes me to see and discover my existence. How? From the place of darkness, of emptiness, of nothingness, I moved out and stepped forward towards being, rising into being. On the other hand, this candle possessed an esse as well. The essence of its light makes it to be, being in existence (being does not only refer to human being itself of possessing life but also applicable to any material or immaterial substance). That candle has an essence, thus it affirms that it exists. Its esse makes it to be something real, there, to be present. The flaring flame that keeps on moving gives light to other being including my being which also a manifestation of relating itself to other.

 By doing so, other being do exists in real sense. This makes it its essence of being a candle. Ones I blow its flame, it will fade to nothing. The essence disappears and transforms to other kind of essence in other object but the esse remains. That makes essence as the limitation of esse. It is of being, to be, limited by essence. The essence of candle of dwelling itself to other together with its essence is much important. Our judgment of candle still be a candle though its essence will disappear, albeit its material substance will undergo an upheaval or of constant flux.

Consequently, my judgment of myself as being powered by my existence still be the same even though things or beings may change. Hence, the elements of our existence differ in accidents, in form, in substances become one in the act of existence. I and a candle are blend together in the act of universality of our existence. We share in the spirit of unity as we discover our own existence from the idea (root of knowledge) of being to others as a manifestation of active presencing. From the moment I thought and self convinced that it is something, its very nature of being per se, it follows that something exists is true.

Thus I exist is true as well. It is the way and the authentic inclination I can relate myself to that being. It is indeed that this esse is perfection itself, the perfection of all perfection. It is also the actuality of all acts. I possessed this but I do not have the monopoly of owning this, hence, every being have such. The perfection comes in as I appreciate my being as well as the being of other being that brought my realization to more concrete reality of understanding its essence and esse.

As the candle will continue to flare its flame, there is hope and rising towards perfection despite our human capacity of imperfection. We may always believe that the Uncaused Cause of this esse is the Light itself, the Being, God.

My Being in the Light of a Candle
 (A Metaphysical Analysis of My Being and Other Being from the Perspective of Esse)
By Lo Ivan R. Castillon